Two confessions
One) I was raised on a lot of fast food. I still have nostalgia for the days when I didn’t think twice about late-night double cheeseburgers from McDonalds.
Two) I hate vegans.
It’s not just because we have different food ethics—and to be clear, I dearly love my vegan friends. But most vegans are preachy, pretentious, and although I’m sure they see themselves as being healthy and holistic, they’re often confrontational and alienating to non-vegans.
It’s the same as any insular community with a strong identity, especially those with a lot of swag (like letterman jackets or W.W.J.D. bracelets). But I’m not sure why “vegan pride” is so often straight-up mean:
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| Yes, non-vegans think too. Sometimes they even criticize society! | Down, hater. Also: factually untrue. I like to think of my usual, omnivore self as part of a larger recycling system. |
To be fair, this sense of pride is probably partly a response to the meat-eating hate that is often directed at vegans, i.e. “but aren’t you protein/calcium/vitamin B12 deficient?” and endless variations of hippie-bashing.
That being said…
My body feels like it needs a cleanse. I don’t eat much meat in general, but I do eat a lot of dairy and carbs—and in general, these things gunk your body up.*

The medical establishment, the USDA, and most regular American folks vastly overemphasize the amount of protein that a body needs. (When I told my mother about this little experiment, her immediate reaction was to make sure I would get enough nutrition—as though giving up meat and dairy automatically meant that I would be malnourished.)
But Americans (of which I am one) generally eat about twice as much protein as we really need—and we mostly get those proteins from animal products, forgetting that protein comes from a variety of sources (both plants and animals).
On the other hand, we vastly underestimate the need to get enough fruits and vegetables. Today’s food choices include protein in near-infinite forms; almost every dish in every restaurant and recipe book includes either meat or cheese.
But—shocker!— It also turns out that protein also comes in the form of grains, beans, seeds, and nuts. And plenty of straight-up vegetables have a high protein content, like avocados, edamame, green peas, and potatoes.
Mmm, avocados.
So I’m in the middle of this arbitrary personal challenge: to spend two weeks eating technically vegan but in a way that doesn’t affect my budget or social habits, and doesn’t make me go out of my way. I refuse to spend extra money eating out at specialty vegan restaurants or to spend hours finding a recipe that actually sounds appealing.
I just want to eat more simple, densely nutritional meals for a couple weeks. I’m hoping that at the end of this my body will feel adjusted to a more diverse diet, and will rely less on cheese, eggs and yogurt. Easy peasy.
Vague-ish guidelines that I just invented this moment
No imitation meat or dairy. If I wanted to eat cheese, I would eat real cheese. So no scrambled tofu for breakfast.
No specialty vegan restaurants.
No more than 2 or 3 grocery items that I would not normally buy (right now it’s looking like tahini and peanut butter)
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*I also drink too much, but let’s start with baby steps.
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